Is sneaking healthy food to your picky eater a good idea?

My kids have a new game they call "The Sneaky Chef." My daughter starts the game by preparing something in her play kitchen. Say, wooden fish with a side of ice cream. My son "eats" the meal. Then my daughter says "Ha! I put blueberries in that fish and mashed avocado in your ice cream." Then they laugh and laugh. I get it. It's funny to create outlandish food combinations and then trick others into eating them.

But, it's also an increasingly popular technique for parents dealing with kids who refuse to eat certain foods. Two books on the topic, The Sneaky Chef and Deceptively Delicious, are bestsellers this month. From Oprah to Amazon.com, from Chow.com to the New York Times, everyone is discussing which book is better--and if Deceptively Delicious (which came out 2nd and is written by Jerry Seinfeld's wife, Jessica Seinfeld) is just a rip off of the Sneaky Chef idea.

The media storm is all very interesting, but I am quite surprised that more people aren't asking a more to-the-point question: Is sneaky healthy food to your selective/picky eater a good idea?

It all depends on how it’s done! Here are some great pointers from Eleanor Taylor, a nurse, wellness consultant, and co-author of Feeding the Kids: The Flexible, No-Battles, Healthy Eating System for the Whole Family. According to Taylor, adding vegetables and fruits to other foods, even if they are cooked and pulverized, can add extra fiber, vitamins and nutrients. However, that doesn’t make every food-sneaking recipe healthy—and it doesn’t make misleading your children a good idea. Taylor suggests five ideas for adding veggies and fruits to the family diet in a healthy, honest way:

1. Tell the truth! Tricking kids into eating healthy food disguised as junk food will ingrain junk-food eating habits. Instead, allow kids to taste vegetable or fruit fortified foods, then explain that they are enjoying a healthier version of a favorite. That way your kids will learn that eating healthy foods—even vegetables—can be enjoyable.
2. Don’t make sneaky recipes your child’s only source of vegetables and fruit. Many popular stealthy recipes incorporate only a teaspoon or two of the added vegetable or fruit per serving—not enough to impact a child’s daily nutritional profile.
3. Serve vegetables and fruits undisguised at every meal and snack. Your kids might not eat them, but repeated exposure is the only proven method for increasing the number and type of foods a child eats.
4. Don’t assume that a recipe is healthy just because it contains some vegetables or fruit. A recipe that contains a bit of nutrition along with large amounts saturated fat, trans fat, refined (white) grains and sweeteners is a treat—not a health food.
5. Whether you sneak or not, help your family enjoy mealtime! Serve the kids, then let them decide what and how much to eat. Mealtime arguments will only result in associating healthy foods with unpleasantness.

Mommy, I HATE oatmeal.

I have two kids. One loves almost everything I cook, even experiments that come out looking odd, lightly burned food and new foods he's never seen before. If he was my only child, I would think that feeding kids is easy, fun, simple and satisfying.

But I don't think that. Because I have another child. She keeps me very, very humble. She grumbles, she cries, she refuses food, she begs for junk food at the store. And, worst of all, she has a habit of suddenly proclaiming that she now hates foods that she used to like.

Just yesterday, she walked into the kitchen, dressed in wildly mismatched clothes, and ready for a tough day in 1st grade. She glared at the saucepan bubbling on the stove.

"I hope that's not oatmeal because you know that I hate oatmeal now."

I said the stupidest thing possible, having not had any coffee yet: "You don't hate oatmeal!"

"I do," she sighed, shaking her head at my lack of maternal mind-reading skills, "but don't worry about it. I'll make myself an English Muffin."

For just a moment, I stopped packing lunches/making coffee/feeding the cat/unloading the dishwasher. I thought to myself about the section in Feeding the Kids on not making separate meals for kids. I though about how hard it is on kids (and parents) when they let kids decide what to eat and then the kid's diet becomes restricted.

But then I thought about her going to 1st grade hungry, about the crying fit she'd have if I gave her oatmeal, about how a whole-wheat English muffin is healthy after all. I opened my mouth to say go ahead and make the muffin. Then I closed it and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry you don't like oatmeal anymore. But that's what we are having. You don't have to eat it, of course, but it just doesn't work to have everyone having different things for breakfast."

She cried. She pleaded. She used the "I'll starve" technique. She stormed out of the kitchen. I felt terrible. I doubted myself. Was she really going to skip breakfast before school?

But then, to my relief and amazement, my daughter trudged--frowning-- back to the kitchen. She added huge amounts of milk, walnuts and dried fruit to her bowl of oatmeal. She topped it off with some brown sugar.

And then she ate the oatmeal. And the next day? Well, we all had English Muffins.

Yikes! The Doctor Says No Dairy for My Daughter

If you've read Feeding the Kids, you know my take on dairy foods for children. I agree with those who claim that dairy isn't vital to survival: your children could get their calcium from beans, greens, almonds, tofu, salmon with bones, and/or calcium supplements/fortified foods. However, for kids without dairy intolerances and allergies, lower-fat dairy foods provide both calcium and protein in an easy, healthy and kid-friendly package. Also, for those people worried about pesticides and hormones in milk, organic or hormone-free milk is now widely available.
That's why, usually, my kids get three servings of dairy each day. It's the easiest and most natural way for me to insure that they get the calcium they need.

Until this week, that is. One of my kids has been feeling sick for a couple of weeks. So, the doctor told me to avoid all dairy foods for her for at least a week. She explained that dairy foods are hard to digest when you are feeling sick and eating them might not start the problems... but diary foods can keep them going. So, we stopped all dairy. Like magic, her problems cleared up. Mine, however, had just started.

It's really hard to avoid dairy foods! So many kid-foods have dairy: pasta with Parmesan cheese, pizza, pudding, pancakes...the list goes on. So, I enlisted some "expert" help from a 14 year old expert who hasn't had dairy in over a year--and her mom! Here are her top 8 suggestions if one of your kids ever has to avoid dairy foods.

1. Eat greens, canned salmon, almonds and tofu for calcium. Or try calcium supplements as recommended by the doctor. Beware of giving a child lots of calcium-enriched orange juice, though. You don't want them to fill up on juice and not want other foods.
2. Serve lean meats to add in extra protein. Skinless white poultry, extra-lean hamburgers, and pork loin are a few great choices.
3. Beans are also a great replacement for the protein and some of the calcium. Hummus, baked beans, and chili are good ways to incorporate beans.
   
4. Earth Balance brand spread makes a good replacement for butter in recipes and for toast.
5. Rice milk (plain not vanilla) works in many recipes (but see #6 below)--soy milk has a stronger flavor that many kids don't like if they aren't used to it.
6. Non-dairy baked goods, such as muffins, pancakes or quick breads, can be tricky. Substituting rice or soy milk for regular milk often results in odd textures or strange flavors. You are better off finding non-dairy recipes on the internet or in cookbooks.
   
7. Don't bother with non-dairy cheese. Most of it tastes (and I quote) "funny."
   
8. For treats, many brands of non-dairy ice cream and pudding tastes great. However, even soy and rice ice cream sometimes contains whey--so read the ingredients if you are avoiding all dairy foods!